Last week, I had a day that was exceptional.

I woke up early and went to the gym. I came home buzzing with energy, got the kids ready for school, and was able to take the morning mayhem and toddler tantrums in my stride. As my husband left with the kids, my 2-year-old was blowing kisses back at me as she walked towards the car. It was a deeply joyful start to my morning.

After that, I took a shower, put on a song I’ve been enjoying lately, and danced around the kitchen while making breakfast. By the time I’d finished eating and started work, I couldn’t help but wonder: That was an amazing morning. How can I have more of those?

Based on what I’ve learned about living well, the answer usually boils down to this: honor your deepest values and desires to the best of your ability.

Breaking-down my Morning

Allow me to explain what I mean by that.

The morning I just told you about felt so good because I was acting in alignment with what matters to me at this point in life:

• Going to the gym early in the morning
  • Desire: exercise early in the morning
  • Values: taking care of my body, using my time well, feeling energized
  • How I made it happen: by going to bed on time and waking up a bit earlier than usual 
• Time with my family 
  • Desire: to have pleasant, joyful mornings with my family
  • Values: spaciousness, love, connection, peace
  • How I made it happen: By choosing to go to the gym before everyone else woke up
• Breakfast
  • Desire: To have a nice breakfast and enjoy some me-time
  • Values: Good food, joy, self-care
  • How I made it happen: Cooked what I liked, went with the flow of my energy, and picked music that further uplifted me

The rest of the day turned out well too. Once I remembered that crafting my day to honor my desires and values makes it better, I made more of an effort. 

I prioritized deep, focused, creative work when I had the time.

I took a nap when I felt tired.

I made sure I was well-fed and rested before my kids came back from school – so that I had the space and capacity to be present with them.

This was almost a week ago. Even though I’ve tried, I haven’t had a day as exceptional as the one I told you about. Each day is different and things don’t always go as per my wishes. But making an effort to honor my values and desires has helped me have better than usual days. 

Over to You

So, what does this mean for you? How can you have better days?

I realize that your life and context may be different from mine. That’s why I am offering you some questions to reflect on. You can use these to come up with what works for you in your specific situation.  

Set aside 15-20 minutes to reflect on:

• What do you want (desire)
  • What would an ideal, amazing day look like for you? (E.g. for me it’s a day when I am fully present with whatever I am doing – being with my family, with myself, or working – I am deeply enjoying it all)
• Why do you want those things (values)
  • What is the underlying reason for your desire (E.g. having a harmonious home environment makes me feel at peace; deep creative expression at work makes me feel fulfilled.) 
• What is one small thing you can do to honor your desires and values?
  • Think of things that are in your control (E.g. I could wake up early and go to the gym because now my kids’ sleep patterns are more predictable. When they were younger, an early visit to the gym would be more complicated. Similarly, choosing to listen to nice music was a simple and easy thing that improved my day.)

The Bottom Line   

With a little bit of effort and intention, most of us can improve the quality of our days. It’s about knowing what we want and why, and then taking small steps that we can control to make it happen.

Wishing you a wonderful day!