Hello friends,
I hope your 2024 is off to a wonderful start.
I took a break and enjoyed the company of loved ones during the holidays. While I resumed work a week ago, part of my brain still seems to be in vacation mode. I’ve been doing my best to take things slow even as the world around me seems to have sprung back into action.
Thankfully, the season of New Year resolutions has come and gone (I recently learned that Friday, January 12th was Quitters Day. Apparently, it is common for many people to give up on their New Year’s resolutions by the second Friday of January.)
There was a time when I was big into New Year’s resolutions. I would enter each year filled with hopes and dreams about becoming a new version of myself.
Someone who had finally started writing.
Someone who was finally more disciplined.
Someone who had finally sorted out the messy stuff in her life.
Much to my consternation, New Year’s resolutions rarely led to the transformations I sought.
I didn’t turn into Yashi 2.0 with the turn of the calendar year.
I continued to have the same struggles and flaws.
What was worse was that every single year, I kept beating myself up over my failures and shortcomings.
Looking back, it was a painful, violent way to treat myself.
And frankly, it might still have been worth it if it gave me the results I wanted.
If I did indeed start writing or became more disciplined or sorted out the mess in my life by beating myself up, I’d have considered it a success.
But that wasn’t happening.
Because that’s not how true transformation happens.
An Important Element of True Transformations
I’ve learned that true transformation happens when we truly, deeply want something – and are willing to stick with the process no matter what.
Even if it takes not one, not two, but many new years.
Even if the journey is not as quick as we had thought it would be.
Even if things don’t go the way we want them to go.
True transformation has a pace of its own; a pace unique to each person. Because each of us is on a unique journey.
Changing your life is not just a matter of discipline and pushing yourself hard enough.
It is also about being soft, open, and accepting of yourself.
Being gentle with yourself is much more likely to keep you motivated in the longer run.
Getting Started
If you want to change something in your life, I’d encourage you to first pause and reflect on the goals you’re pursuing.
Who chose them? And why?
Do your goals come to you from your social conditioning? Because someone told you that’s what you should do?
Or do they come to you from the truth of who you are? From a deep inner voice that’s telling you something significant?
The more aligned your pursuits are with the truth of who you are, the easier and more effortless your path will become.
You won’t have to force yourself to do things because you “should.” You will find yourself doing them because you want to.
Now, if you’re anything like I was when I began my journey of personal transformation, you may have no idea how to align your pursuits with who you are. That’s okay.
The first step is always awareness. Becoming aware of what you don’t know is you making progress.
If you want to build more awareness, I invite you to create some space for quiet, distraction-free reflection. You can use these questions for guidance:
- What do I truly want?
- If I had all the time and money in the world, how would I spend my days?
- If I were to die tomorrow, what would I most regret?
Let these questions begin an internal inquiry. Be open to receiving the answers that come to you.
Remember: true transformation has a pace of its own. It is okay if you don’t get immediate answers. What matters is that you stay open and curious.
As you learn more about what you truly want in your life, you’ll be better equipped to create the transformations you seek.
Whether it’s the New Year or not, making sure you’re pursuing the right goals for the right reasons is an extremely important step in changing your life.
I wish you a beautiful 2024. May you discover and explore your truest, deepest desires.