Generally speaking, I am not a morbid person. I mean, I don’t shy away from difficult topics and conversations per se, but I also don’t spend a significant amount of time pondering death. However, today’s post is about death…a topic many people are uncomfortable with. I am writing about this topic to fulfill a couple of promises I recently made to myself about writing. I promised myself that:

1. I will listen to my heart and write about what feels true, even if it feels vulnerable, and

2. Instead of trying to “write for an audience,” I will trust that expressing my heartfelt truth will touch people who are ready to hear it

    So, if what I share today feels morbid or touches your heart, or ignites another reaction altogether, it’s all understandable. Here we go.  

The Grief 

For the past few days, I have been filled with deep grief. Initially, I had no idea why I was feeling so sad. Upon reflection, though, it seems that my grief is about death. Of course, like most people, I have always known that death is inevitable. But as I dive deeper into my spiritual journey with a teacher, I am coming to a much deeper, embodied understanding that sooner or later, the people I love will die. That I will die. That one day, this incredible, beautiful, messy life I love so much will come to an end. And for the most part, there’s no way of knowing when that might happen.

I live far from my parents and our relationship hasn’t been ideal for a long time. Will they be alive long enough for me to nurture our relationship? 

My daughters are still very little. Will I live to see them grow up and build a life for themselves? 

My husband and I have been together for over ten years. Will we grow old together? 

My relationship with a close friend became too challenging and I stopped talking to her almost 15 years ago. Will I ever have the courage to apologize to her for the part I played in how things went down? 

I have always wanted to write a book, learn Improv, and take singing lessons. Will I ever be able to fearlessly pursue the dreams I have put on hold for a long time?

I don’t know. I don’t know what life has in store for me. But I do know that if I were to get hit by a truck tomorrow and not recover, there will be things that will feel incomplete, things that I will regret, and things that I would wish I had prioritized while I had the time.

The Truth

The truth is, sooner or later, the end is coming. For all of us.

If something tragic were to happen to you tomorrow, next week, or in the next few months, what would your final thoughts be? What would you be most proud of? What would you deeply regret? What would make your life feel unfinished?

I am not asking you to go take care of those things right now. I know, from experience, that if it was that easy to do those things, we would all have done them already.

The Ask

No. What I am asking you to do is to pause. To take a moment from your busy, fast-paced life that might be running on autopilot. To allow yourself to notice that time is passing. To acknowledge that there may be things that matter more to you than what you currently spend most of your time on. And then, let this pause be a nudge. Let it plant a seed in your life about what actually matters, about what your heart truly desires, about what you want to take care of before it’s too late.

Gradually, my grief has morphed into a reminder about the preciousness of life. The moments I spend talking to my parents or playing with my children have taken a deeper meaning. And while there are things I am not yet ready to take care of, I am trying to do a better job of being present and living with a more open heart.