Of all the companions I’ve had in my life,

My fears have been one of the most loyal.

The fear of making mistakes,

The fear of saying the wrong thing,

The fear of rejection,

The fear of losing what I love.

And at the core of it all,

The fear of not being good enough.

The fear that my existence may be a mistake,

That I don’t have the right

To live this life I love so much.

That I am insignificant and don’t matter. 

So what am I doing here?

Over the years, joys have come and gone,

So has love and light.

But the darkness?

It has never left me.

Even when I’ve tried my hardest,

To get rid of them,

My fears have been steadfast,

In their loyalty.

Over the years, wise people have told me,

That my fears are not going anywhere.

But I’ve refused to buy into that argument.

I’ve fought, resisted, strived,

Doing my best to conquer my fears, 

So that I can step into courage,

And live the life I am meant to live.

But that hasn’t worked.

My fears have continued to hold on tight,

The more I’ve tried to push them away, 

The stronger they’ve become.

Stubbornly refusing to let go.

With time, I’ve come to accept,

That I need to learn how to live with my fears.

If they’re not going anywhere, 

We might as well find a way to exist more harmoniously.

For some time now, my fears and I,

Have been negotiating an agreement

That feels mutually agreeable.

There has been some progress.

But today, while going about my day,

I was struck with awe.

Awe, at the realization of how loyal my fears have been.

Awe, at the commitment my fears have

Towards my safety.

Awe, about how hard they’ve been working all my life,

To take care of me in their own way.

I am learning that my fears are not my enemy.

They are a part of me, responsible for keeping me safe.

They may be misguided, at times,

About what constitutes a danger.

But they have good intentions.

And it’s my job to guide them better.

I’ve moved from resistance to acceptance,

And now, to an appreciation of my fears.

Right now, I feel grateful for them.

Dear fears, I want to say: thank you.

Thank you, for your relentless loyalty and service.

I see you now. I hear you.

I appreciate all your hard work.

May we learn not only to co-exist together,

But also develop a meaningful, respectful, trusting relationship.